Random thoughts and dreams

I was thinking, last night, about people that do not or have never drank alcohol, and how they question why we do it.

We question why we do it too. I know I do. I have the same plan every time, a few beers, a couple of shots (usually Jagerbombs), food and a cup of tea before bed and I am fine. Miss out the food and then I start questioning myself in the morning, but as long as I stick to that order of things I never feel ill.

It’s when people binge-drink that’s the problem. I’ll admit, I have done it before, for whatever reason, and it’s pretty ridiculous. I’m on the side of the non-drinkers in this case. I hate people being ‘too’ drunk, causing a fuss and making an idiot of themselves. I’ve had a couple of friends in the past that have taken it too far and have ruined the entire night because I’ve had to keep an eye on them because they’ve gone overboard. If I ever get like that, luckily I realise and I take myself home before I make an idiot of myself.

The only thing that annoys me about non-drinkers are the lectures. I am fully aware that drinking damages my organs, especially my liver, just as much as I am aware that smoking damages my lungs. Neither are regular occurrences so I don’t worry about it too much. And I know I should, before anyone pipes up.

When the smoking ban came in England, I welcomed it. Like anyone, I loved going home without smelling of cigarettes. I used to hate that. You’d wake up in the morning, roll over, get a whiff of your hair and feel gross. Don’t get me wrong, I hate standing out in the cold, but that’s what coats are for and I can’t whinge about it when I am feeding my habit. ‘Don’t smoke then’. And I smoke less when I am out because there’s the effort of walking outside. One good point is you get chatting to other smokers and have some interesting drunken conversations at times.

Anyway, onto other things.



I had some very strange dreams last night. One included my youngest sister being bullied, and me taking it upon myself to sort it out, i.e. end the bullying. I think she had started a new school and these two girls had taken to taunting her and threatening her, but when I spoke to them they somehow agreed to stop it. It was a misunderstanding or something. The next day, I heard that my sister had been beaten up and then she didn’t talk to me for days because she blamed me for it.

When my sister actually was in school (she’s 19 now), there were a group of girls attempting to terrorise her. I had left school by a year or two years, but the middle one of us three sisters was still in school with the youngest, and she was trying to stop it but to no avail. In comes me on my white horse one break time, a few friends in tow as we were hanging out, determined to find these girls and have a word with them. I would never hit anyone, unless I was hit first, just as a side note, plus these kids were three years younger than me.

So, I arrived at school with my friends, most of which were older and to the confusion of a few teachers we had bumped into. The girls that were bullying my sister were in the canteen, which is close to the front of the school, so into the grounds I wandered and looked at them through the window. I asked them to come out and talk to me. They wouldn’t, they just flipped me the rod.

So, I went back to my friends at the front of the school and eventually these girls came out when the bell rang for them to go back to class. I never said a word, I just stood there trying to look important and imposing while they screamed at me ‘bitch!’, ‘fuck off’, ….’bitch’ (women of many words) and eventually they left.

Off I went back to my friend’s house.

Shortly after, my mother called me, telling me that one of the girls had run home to her parents, saying that I had threatened to kill her. I did nothing of the sort, but was highly amused that I had scared her, as she’d been doing so to my sister. My mother wasn’t amused. She’d been at work when the school had called her and said I had been in there. They’d pulled my little sister and the ringleader into their head of year’s office to talk it out, and called my mum.

I got a rollocking and if I remember rightly I was grounded (I was 16 or 17 at the time) but it was worth it because those girls never said a word to my sister again. I don’t know whether I scared them or their head of year did, but either way, my sister was safe.

Bit strange really, I must just have an evil look about me or something.

The funniest part, I think, is that my mother works with a lady who is the stepmother of the ringleader. She’s now all nicey-nice to my mum and mum just laughs at her.

I was bullied in school too, but being the oldest in the family I had no-one to look out for me unless I went to a teacher or my mother. And you just don’t do that. I was never physically bullied, it was all taunts and jeers, so I managed to get through it eventually. I was shit-scared at the time, though. A couple of them caught the same bus as me to and from secondary school, and they’d sit in the seat behind me and just say things to me. I don’t remember what. I just remember that it all started with ‘you’ve got black hair, I’ve got black hair’ henceforth, I am going to bully you for it, in primary school. Ah, mature.

Most of these girls were two years above me in school, and when they finished school, only one of them stayed on for sixth form. Only one. And she was the ringleader. By this time I was 15 and I had many friends. She had none. That was enough for me.

Man, I am really on a roll today.